A 12-step program for people with sexual addictions.

Are you looking for help with sexually compulsive behavior? Do you think you might have a sexual addiction or an addiction to pornography? Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) is a twelve-step program, patterned after Alcoholics Anonymous, for people struggling with sexual addictions of all kinds. SA has meetings for sex addicts throughout Kansas, and the surrounding areas. Meeting are free and anonymous, and they are only open to those who are struggling with sexual addiction and are interested in recovery

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About Us

We have a solution. We don't claim it's for everybody, but for us, it works. If you identify with us and think you may share our problem, we'd like to share our solution with you (Sexaholics Anonymous, 2).

The only requirement for SA membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober according to the SA sobriety definition. Any two or more sexaholics gathered together for SA sobriety according to the SA sobriety definition may call themselves an SA group. Meetings that do not adhere to and follow Sexaholics Anonymous' sobriety statement as set forth in the foregoing Statement of Principle adopted by the General Delegate Assembly in 2010 are not SA meetings and shall not call themselves SA meetings. Addendum to the Statement of Principle passed by the General Delegate Assembly on July 2016.

The Twelve Steps

  1. We admitted that we were powerless over lust—that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to sexaholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

The Twelve Traditions

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on SA unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or Sexaholics Anonymous as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers.
  6. An SA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the SA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every SA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Sexaholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. SA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Sexaholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the SA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and television.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

From Sexaholics Anonymous: White Book. Reprinted for adaptation with permission from Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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For Newcomers

Sexaholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober. There are no dues or fees for SA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. SA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sexually sober and help others to achieve sexual sobriety.*

Sexaholics Anonymous is a recovery program based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and received permission from AA to use its Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in 1979.

The only requirement for SA membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober according to the SA sobriety definition. Any two or more sexaholics gathered together for SA sobriety according to SA sobriety definition may call themselves an SA group. Meetings that do not adhere to and follow Sexaholics Anonymous' sobriety statement as set forth in the foregoing Statement of Principle adopted by the General Delegate Assembly in 2010 are not SA meetings and shall not call themselves SA meetings.

Addendum to the Statement of Principle passed by the General Delegate Assembly on July 8, 2016.

*Adapted with permission from The AA Grapevine, Inc. SA adaptation © 1982, 1989, 2001 SA Literature. Reprinted with permission of SA Literature.

What is a sexaholic?

We can only speak for ourselves. The specialized nature of Sexaholics Anonymous can best be understood in terms of what we call the sexaholic. The sexaholic has taken himself or herself out of the whole context of what is right or wrong. He or she has lost control, no longer has the power of choice, and is not free to stop. Lust has become an addiction.Our situation is like that of the alcoholic who can no longer tolerate alcohol and must stop drinking altogether but is hooked and cannot stop. So it is with the sexaholic, or sex drunk, who can no longer tolerate lust but cannot stop.

What is Sexual Sobriety?

Thus, for the sexaholic, any form of sex with one's self or with partners other than the spouse is progressively addictive and destructive. We also see that lust is the driving force behind our sexual acting out, and true sobriety includes progressive victory over lust. These conclusions were forced upon us in the crucible of our experiences and recovery; we have no other options. But we have found that acceptance of these facts is the key to a happy and joyous freedom we could otherwise never know.

This will and should discourage many inquirers who admit to sexual obsession or compulsion but who simply want to control and enjoy it, much as the alcoholic would like to control and enjoy drinking. Until we had been driven to the point of despair, until we really wanted to stop but could not, we did not give ourselves to this program of recovery. Sexaholics Anonymous is for those who know they have no other option but to stop, and their own enlightened self-interest must tell them this.

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Common signs of sex addiction

Have you ever thought you needed help for your sexual thinking or behavior? That you'd be better off if you didn't keep “giving in”? That sex or stimuli are controlling you? Have you ever tried to stop or limit doing what you felt was wrong in your sexual behavior? Do you resort to sex to escape, relieve anxiety, or because you can't cope? Do you feel guilt, remorse or depression afterward? Increase acceptance of non-traditional sexual relationships and the continuous increase in availability of online sex and sexual material has contributed to 8.6% of Americans experience difficults with sexual feelings, urges, or behavior. Sex addiction statistics are likely under-reported primarily because they rely on self-reporting. Below is a list of common experiences or situations that likely indicate unhealthy sexual behavior or addiction.

  • Pursuit of sex become has become more compulsive.
  • Sexual behavior interferes with relations with your spouse.
  • Requiring images or memories during sex.
  • Inability to resist overtures or sexual offers by people other than your spouse
  • Inability to commit to a single relationship.
  • A belief that the “right relationship” would help you stop lusting, masturbating, or being promiscuous.
  • A destructive or desperate sexual or emotional need for someone.
  • Pursuing sex makes you careless for yourself or the welfare of your family or others.
  • Effectiveness and/or concentration decreased as sex has become more compulsive.
  • Risk or loss of work because of sexual behavior or pursuit.
  • A desire to "get away" from the sex partner after a sexual interaction.
  • Masturbation or sex with others instead of your spouse that is sexually compatible.
  • Arrest for a sex-related offense or behavior that could result in arrest or legal prosecution.